Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
