Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
