I can tuck mytits in my pants
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize