NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My balls are so social today.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
