My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
