Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Shame - the story of my life.
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