You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
