Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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