Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
