i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
