Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Mom said you looked used
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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