well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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