Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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