I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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