you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
