i just wanna soil my oats bro
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
