I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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