That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize