i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
