i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Found the puke drawer
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
