apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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