Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
