u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
