well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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