I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
