So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My balls are so social today.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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