In the future we'll all be gay
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
