I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
