hotel room ftw
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
