I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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