Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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