Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
