idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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