You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
