My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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