idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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