I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
