im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
