Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
