did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
