I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
