My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize