just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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