So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i think my cat just said my name.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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