I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
