im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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