I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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