"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
