I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
