I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she looked like the before picture.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
