I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
