We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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