I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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