Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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