sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
In America we eat man semen.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
