so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
