every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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