okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
