It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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