I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
third nipple confirmed
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
