We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
