I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
