Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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