You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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