This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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