Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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