so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
